Chinese 101

People think an L3 language like Chinese is difficult to learn. Its really easy!

Let us begin.

1) That's not right ..................... Sum Ting Wong

2) Are you harboring a fugitive? ............ Hu Yu Hai Ding

3) See me ASAP ............................... Kum Hia Nao

4) Stupid Man ............................. Dum Gai

5) Small Horse ............................. Tai Ni Po Ni

6) Did you go to the beach? ................ Wai Yu So Tan

7) I bumped into a coffee table ......... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni

8) I think you need a face lift ........... Chin Tu Fat

9) Its very dark in here .................. Wao So Dim

10) I thought you were on a diet ........... Wai Yu Mun Ching

11) This is a tow away zone ................ No Pah King

12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week ... Wai Yu Kum Nao

13) Staying out of sight ................... Lei Ying Lo

14) He's cleaning his automobile ........... Wa Shing Ka

15) Your body odor is offensive ............ Yu Stin Ki Pu

16) Great ................................ Fa Kin Su Pah

All mock translations found on multiple web sites. Impossible to cite original source.

Photo: A grass hut near a strawberry field in the ostrich farm we visited in summer of 07. I need some new photos.

A message from Kuato.

File size: 8.51MB Format: .MOV

I love recieving video and photos from back home. Sometimes I feel a little lost and out of the loop. I suppose I could negotiate from my friends and family using the care package of things I bought here for them as leverage.

Video: My friend Jamie back in Canada reinacting a scene from Total Recall. Video taken last winter in Newmarket Ontario, Canada. Kuato is played by Shieleigh.

Hungry Hungry Hippos!

File size: 529kb Format: .MP4

Another old video I found. They grow up so fast. The only difference now is, they eat more, poop more, meow more, and fall off things less. Except Sugar, she still falls off things.

Video: Low settings on my previous Amoi cell phone. Sugar and Pepper at 2 months old.

In need of a boat!

File size: 643kb Format: .MP4

In 2007 it didn't rain a lot, but when it did...

I wonder what it will be like at my new address when it rains.

Video: 30 minutes of rain made a 25 minute walk into an hour of adventure. Video taken on low settings on my previous Amoi cell phone.

Mr. Condom

Mr. Condom . . .

The name makes me think of a 1940's radio jingle, but the image makes me wonder what someone was thinking. I have never seen a condom machine so colourfully decorated with cartoons. Though I'm not sure that I oppose the idea. A happy reference to something both safe and happy can't be all that bad, can it? I wonder what's inside his closed fist?

In other dirty news, my roomate Paul had some interesting news that tops my story about the road rage I witnessed 2 weeks ago; 2 men pulled up beside a taxi waiting at the lights of a busy intersection. They got out, approached the driver, who was unaware of the coming assault.

anyway ...

Pauls story certainly tops mine. He noticed a lonely taxi driver fail at keeping both hands on the wheel. I'll let you figure out what that means.

Photo: An empty but full icon by day. Hero by night.

Bie Kan Wo!

2 years, and some things are the same, but I guess the things that I assumed had changed have likely become things I simply don't notice anymore.

What I mean is, when I first arrived here in China in October of 2006, it felt like everyone stared at me, and critically analyzed me. Now, it feels like some of that has changed. Perhaps its true, and that I am at a level of comfort that emanates from me, and therefore recieve less occular attention.

Regardless, children still seem fascinated by me, as well as every taxi driver, who seem to enjoy themselves by rambling on when I convey that I don't understand him (a partial truth). Sometimes, I find that I get tired trying to understand while having to sift through their accents and words, while suffering their body oder. It brings to mind the differences between henan dialect and mandarin, and seems to be a reliable end of a usual sequence with my gazing out the window, or sending text messages on my cell.

Today I stayed home to relax, clean the apartment and give my kittens a bath. I found that clipping their claws before the bath, works wonders for my blood ... =)

Well, they aren't that bad, it's only under the water when they try to seek safety. I just wish they went to the floor instead of up my chest and onto my shoulder when they panic.

Has anyone else been following the BBC show Merlin? I finished watching season 1 and 2 of the Showtime show Dexter a few weeks ago. Good stuff! Photo: Open manhole cover. Not so dangerous during the day.

You smell funny.

File size: 5.95mb Format: .avi

I had planned on attending a meeting at a school in Zhengzhou called English Model this morning, but I had to change my plans to meet with another school near my apartment. The meeting at English Model was voluntary, and not at all requested by them, but I had expressed that I would attend, and neglected to contact them to let them know of the change. Bad Mike!

This afternoon, I taped the 15 meter line for my internet to the corners of the floor in the next room, along the floor of the room the wall-jack is in, and around the doorway of my room. Now sweeping and mopping will be a little easier, and there is less risk of merciless cat destruction of my interweb cable (although they rarily bother with it anyway).

After that, Paul and I went shopping. I picked up two soft cushions for Sugar and Pepper since winter is coming and I wake up with them curled around me. Other items I picked up were a 2nd litterbox, some eggs, and fresh litter for both litterboxes.

Paul picked up some tuna in one of those huge cans, and I added it to the rice he made in our new fangled rice-cooker (plus 4 hardboiled eggs). Sugar and Pepper went wild for the tuna. I think it is their second time having it. It's been a few hours since they explored the new litterbox, kneeded the cushions, and consumed the tuna. Now they're unusually quiet.

Is this all I have to talk about? What an uneventful day ...

Photo: NO PHOTO FOR YOU!
Video: Chris laughing as I rolled down a hill strapped to the interior of a big ball. What wasn't captured in the video was my "Oh ... oh SHIIIIIiiiiiiiii ... ". Video was taken in early summer of 2007.

Totally sharky...complete!

File size: 3mb Format: .3gp (Quicktime)

Yes, I have returned.

I haven't started studying at university yet, work got in the way I could say. The trouble was that I had to switch employers and negotiations took longer than expected. Doing business here has it's ... interesting quirks.

In February, myself and my friend/roomate/colleague are investing in a new consultant firm. This plan started early summer. The company will offer many services but all related to foreign language learning. I'm quite excited, but will not divulge my unique business plan publicly, ... yet ;)

I'm looking forward to it, as well as being free to travel back to Canada each year. In my life, China has become as much of a home to me as Canada, and I expect to spend time in both. Once everything is securely underway, I will continue studying Chinese, but in Zhengzhou University. This time, work will not interfere. This should allow for us to work less, study more, and visit our homelands more.

Happy Thanksgiving to my friends and family! Eat lots of turkey stuffing!

Video: Sugar and Pepper. I feed them every three days, spared them the agony of all those vaccinations, and this is how they repay me, by acting crazy.

7 Days

I lost my bank card...

Though I applied for a new one, I'm told it will take 7 days. I'm a little surprised that it will take that long to transfer my funds to a new account. I'm also surprised, as I need my funds Monday (3 days) to pay the deposit and 3 months rent on my new apartment. It's a good thing I'm getting my pay on Monday, in cash. =)

More to come ...

Photo: Pecan Tart from Zhengzhou's Jin Bo Da Häagen-Daz.

WHOAH!

While all of you are wondering "What happened to Mike?", but I'm here wondering "How the hell am I now able to access my blog?"

As for what's been happening, I would have to say a lot, but at present I'm moving again. I'm back at my first apartment staying with Chris, until the 25th of this month when I will be moving in with Paul (South Africa) and Ahi (New Zealand) to a rather large exquisite 2 floor 4 bedroom apartment (2 full bathrooms, kitchen, walk-out rooftop balcony). I would assume the condition of this apartment is this good due to it's current resident, a family from the U.S., who have been accustomed to western living, and lived here in Zhengzhou at that apartment for 4 years. I wish I had photos.

Also, I'm changing employers mid July to a FL (Foreign Language) school called SIAS. My position there will be the same as it is where I am presently, with one minor change, yet to be clarified beyond duties to perform in order to aquire an accurate title.

In any case, I'm still expecting to be starting university in September. Along with one of my new roomates, Paul. Or as he likes to call himself in his South African/British English, Poewl ...

Photo: NO PHOTO FOR YOU! >:[